A happy fucking 27th birthday to me.

19 June. My birthday. A very black birthday. Too many things on my mind.

Oh well...

Things seems so different now. Everything in my life seems so different. Losing touch with friends. Colleagues resigning from work. Talking lesser to mum and dad. Finding a chore to head to work everyday. Or maybe i just want to be alone?

How contradicting. I know i need to be alone to find back my true self but yet i dread this kind of feeling, loneliness.

Oh well.....

Life still goes on... and on.... and on...

The only thing that is constant in this world is change.

Moving on.

For the past one month or so, i have been doing everything most by myself.
Having lunch alone before i start work.
Walking around aimlessly alone after work.
Going straight home after work even if i am off the next day.

I guess i am just not used to you not being around.
I know we promised each other that we'll need to move on.
And moving on is not easy. Period.
Life is just so colourless.
It is all black and white.
And seems like you are moving on fine.

Why am i feeling this way when it was a mutual agreement between us that we move on with our life?
So much so that i feel very lonely on many occasions.
Part of me feels glad that you are doing fine.
Other part of me feels terrible that you are not in my life anymore.